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<title>And at Least I Understood the Hunger I Felt by Primarina (PastelBrachypelma)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25071355">And at Least I Understood the Hunger I Felt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelBrachypelma/pseuds/Primarina'>Primarina (PastelBrachypelma)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(sort of), Caretaking, Comfort Food, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Food, Food Issues, Food Kink, Food Porn, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Quarantine, Snacks &amp; Snack Food, Starvation, past mention of, you can look at it that way if you want but otherwise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:35:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,569</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25071355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelBrachypelma/pseuds/Primarina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley's body decides that it's tired of living without food and starts giving off alarm bells. Aziraphale helps him through it. Lots of food porn, light kink, and a very content snake demon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And at Least I Understood the Hunger I Felt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>MIND THE TAGS!! This is sorta-kinda-maybe kinkier than something I would write normally (because let's be honest, if you're reading one of my fics, it's more than likely Crowley's going to get to eat something. Poor, slender snake that he is), so if that's not your thing, maybe just click off. Also, there's some light mention of Crowley possibly having anxiety-related food issues. It's very brief, but if you're triggered by any of that...yeah, just be careful. That said, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all happened rather suddenly. Perhaps too suddenly, in Crowley’s opinion. </p><p>They were finally, finally, quarantining together. Aziraphale ad changed his tune pretty quickly, and things had been going very well. Crowley had set himself up with the new Animal Crossing all the kids were playing, and had even convinced Aziraphale to try it. (The angel was not as engrossed as the demon, but that was because Aziraphale hadn’t been exactly bored to death.)</p><p>Crowley was feeling quite proud of himself for having caused some minor mischief by using the turnip market to cause online delays for a few hundred people, thanks to the wait line to get into his island for a 666 turnip price (never let it be said Crowley wasn’t devilish) and he was finally done with that and could get around to collecting all of his money bag tips…</p><p>And then he started to shake. </p><p>Well, that rather makes it sound like he all at once began to shiver as if he’d been dunked in ice water, but no, that wasn’t the case at all. No, the shake began in his wrists, making his fingers fumble over the Switch’s buttons. It was subtle at first, and Crowley was very intently watering his flowers, so he didn’t even notice. But then it moved up towards his shoulders, and he finally had to turn off the game. </p><p>Aziraphale heard the game turn off (because of course Crowley played it at a slightly-too-loud volume, which he pretended bothered him immensely so Crowley would feel better, even if, truthfully, the sounds of Animal Crossing were soothing), but he didn’t think anything of it at first. Crowley would often turn off the Switch every so often to turn to another device; his laptop or phone, usually. So the angel went back to carefully icing the two-layer cake that had just come out of the oven and by all rights should not be holding icing as well as it was while still hot, but it didn’t know that. Aziraphale had moved on from simply baking to the art of decorating, inspired by videos Crowley showed him on Instagram, and he was getting quite good at piping, if he did say so himself. </p><p>Crowley, meanwhile, was starting to feel quite lightheaded. He felt floaty, as if drunk, but without any of the benefits of alcohol. The room blurred at the edges of his vision and Crowley, without his sunglasses because he didn’t need them in the shop, rubbed his eyes, trying to clear it, but not only did that make the blur worse, it also brought to his attention that the slight shake in his arms had amplified, and not only was he trembling like a frightened kitten, it felt like lifting a thousand pounds to lift his arm up a few feet! </p><p>(Now, Crowley could have supernatural strength when he wanted to, he just often forgot that he could do that. Aziraphale was the strong one, capable of lifting things like his Bentley or a ton of books with ease, and Crowley was, quite frankly, in awe of the angel’s strength. So he let himself think he couldn’t do the same feats, if only to make the angel do them, because woo-ee.)</p><p>Crowley tried to move his legs, but that was the next trouble. They felt like rubber, and though they were cooperating, Crowley felt cut off from them, as if he’d lost feeling in his lower extremities. The shaking became much worse, and suddenly, Crowley’s heart was beating faster and faster, as though he’d run a marathon, the beat of it slowly climbing until he could feel it crashing against his chest like a bug throwing itself at a window. He pressed his hand against his heart, panicking. It felt like he was going to have a heart attack, what with all this...nonsense going on. </p><p>“Bloody corporation,” he muttered. “Must be on the fritz again.” He needed to find the source of this...attack, and quickly. For a while, he’d noted that his stomach was beginning to cramp up, feeling growly and cavernous compared to what it should feel like: quiet and relaxed. But...that couldn’t possibly be connected...could it? </p><p>“Crowley?” Aziraphale has stepped into the main room to consult the video he had pulled up on YouTube on his old computer (which wasn’t aware it didn’t have a modern browser and shouldn’t have been able to run YouTube, never mind run it in clear, crisp clarity), but now he was frowning at his friend. “Are you all right, dear? You look rather pale.” </p><p>“F-fine,” Crowley shook his head, but that only made the dizziness worse. “Think I’m gonna have a panic attack. Can’t figure out why, though.” </p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes trailed to where Crowley was clutching at his heart. “I’ll check you over, is that okay?” He made to step forward, waiting for Crowley’s nod before nodding in return and crossing the room, clean and businesslike. Since the Aborted Apocalypse, Crowley’s nerves had been severely frayed. Truly, Aziraphale thought, they’d been fraying for centuries, but the demon had been very good at hiding it. He felt privileged that Crowley had chosen to show his weaknesses to him more often. </p><p>Crowley lay tensely back against the sofa, trying to sprawl comfortably as Aziraphale came close, sighing once Aziraphale’s warm, calloused hands spread against his chest, tips of well-worn fingers and the blunt edges of perfectly manicured nails brushed against his collarbone. “I don’t know why,” he said, somewhat breathlessly. “Bloody corporation. Wasn’t meant to last six thousand years.” </p><p>“Oh, hush, you dramatic thing,” Aziraphale tutted to hide his own panic. He had a remade corporation thanks to Adam, but Crowley was still in his original corporation. He didn’t want to think of it breaking down like some old machine. It wasn’t like they could go to a doctor and have it looked at, were anything truly wrong. But, a check of Crowley’s vitals and his essence weren’t bringing back anything worrying. Other than the irregular heartbeat and resulting spike in blood pressure, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with his brain or heart, and his organs appeared to be functioning perfectly. “You seem well besides the panic, my dear.” Aziraphale pulled his hands away, making Crowley whine unconsciously. “I checked your corporation and your essence. Everything seems tickety boo.” </p><p>“Well, that’s a relief.” Crowley sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. Aziraphale watched as the aloft wrist trembled and sat down beside the demon.</p><p>“Come here,” Aziraphale encouraged, sitting back himself and opening his arms. “Are you cold, my dear?” </p><p>“Not as such.” But Crowley came to lay beside him, anyway, tucking his slim form into Aziraphale’s side. He was moving gingerly as if injured, and the way he tilted his head against Aziraphale’s shoulder reminded the angel of one time, in Mesopotamia, when Crowley’s serpent form had been mauled by a crocodile, and the demon had been dizzy from the blood loss. </p><p>“You’re dizzy?” He asked, though he knew the answer before Crowley nodded. “Hm.” Aziraphale ran his fingers down Crowley’s arm, thinking. Crowley was trembling, dizzy, body panicking even though he didn’t seem anxious, nothing was really amiss…</p><p>Then, there was a soft gurgling sound and Crowley flushed pink. Aziraphale would’ve found it rather fetching (the pink complemented his hair, after all) if he wasn’t aware of what had caused the embarrassment. </p><p>“Sstupid,” Crowley hissed, curling his knees up towards him gingerly, unable to move them quite there. “Blassst it, I forgot again.” </p><p>“Pardon?” Aziraphale blinked in momentary confusion and then frowned. “Don’t tell me you’ve been miracling yourself not to be hungry.” </p><p>“Well!” Crowley exploded suddenly, gesticulating wildly. “Excuse me for not wanting to...to…! To feel…!” He made a complicated gesture and then, clearly feeling unwell, he slumped back against Aziraphale, breathing heavily. The angel took pity on him, drawing him in closer. Crowley cling to him, clasped fingers trembling against his buttons. “I...it was all too much,” he admitted quietly. “I couldn’t...Armageddon…”</p><p>“Shh,” Aziraphale gently pressed his lips to Crowley’s forehead. “My dear, your corporation isn’t failing you. It’s simply throwing alarm bells at you, telling you that you need to eat something.” He waited for Crowley to calm a bit before asking, “when did you start?” </p><p>“Ngk,” Crowley tensed. “The night the whole thing started. Was gonna come get you for dinner. I was good and hungry, that Italian had just opened up down the road, and I wanted to try their ravioli, but I got Summoned, so I thought, y’know, I’d put it off for a few hours, see what Hell wanted…”</p><p>“You thought it was just a temptation,” Aziraphale nodded. That confirmed what he had guessed about that night eleven years ago (or was it more like twelve, now?); that neither of them had been given any indication that the world was scheduled to end. </p><p>Crowley nodded. “After that, I was so worried about Hell calling me, I just kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off…”</p><p>“And you haven’t eaten since?” Crowley shook his head. Aziraphale sighed. “Oh, my poor dear. You must be famished.” </p><p>“I-I’m not, that’s the funny thing,” Crowley his his face, mumbling just by Aziraphale’s ear. “When you woke me up in mid June to tell me you’d changed your mind, I was...pretty much already awake. I hadn’t slept deeply. Kept feeling nauseous and achy. Couldn’t leave bed, but couldn’t sleep, either.”</p><p>“The hunger’s making you ill, Crowley,” Aziraphale said gently. “It’s all the acid that lives there. It’s bloody awful for the poor thing. I can’t imagine the design…” He drew Crowley in closer, breathing deeply in the hopes that Crowley would imitate him. It worked, but only a little. He could still feel Crowley’s heart hammering against his chest. “Do you think, perhaps, you’d like to try some food? Your stomach was growling; it seems like it would be amenable.” </p><p>Crowley nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” He shivered. “I can’t move. Not well, anyway. Sorry.” He turned his head to the side and glanced up, meeting Aziraphale’s eyes. His pupils were slightly dilated and his eyes were half gold. He was still shaking badly. It hurt Aziraphale to see his dear one so distressed.  “Fuck, even the apples in the game started to look good.” He chuckled self-deprecatingly. </p><p>“I suppose that’s a good place to start as any.” Aziraphale waved a hand, and a fresh spread sat in his lap; a whole apple, a sliced and cored apple, and some light cheese. Crowley shakily moved to grab one of the slices, but Aziraphale tutted. “Here, allow me.” </p><p>“Angel, I’m not an infant,” Crowley groused. But at the withering look of his companion, he sighed and opened his mouth, letting Aziraphale feed him. “Mm,” he hummed, licking his lips. The apple was crisp and juicy, just the right mix of tart and sweet (which is to say, very light on the tart and heavy on the sweet), and the sharp tang of whatever funny cheese that was on the side complemented it perfectly. </p><p>“Good?” Aziraphale asked, smiling one of his rare “I’m a bastard and I know it” smiles. </p><p>Crowley nodded. “It’s settling, at least.” His throat still felt a bit tight and his heart was still beating far too fast, but at least the aching in his stomach was leaning towards true hunger as opposed to nausea. </p><p>“That’s good indeed,” Aziraphale was still grinning. “Let’s continue. Oh, did I tell you that I’m going to try a different piping method? It seems quite complex, but I’m confident that with practice, it will look professional.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled around another bite of apple. “Ever think of changing the bookshop into a bakery, angel?”</p><p>“Good Heavens, no!” Aziraphale looked scandalized even as he took up a thin, sharp knife to carve into the whole apple while Crowley was chewing the last of the first. “I’d have more customers than ever! No, out of the question!”</p><p>Crowley giggled a bit, nuzzling into Aziraphale’s coat. The well-worn fabric was as soothing to him as the silky soft fabrics he himself favored, even if it was a bit rough. He snaked past Aziraphale’s fingers to grab a slice of cheese, popping it into his mouth. As Aziraphale held up the next slice, Crowley looked away. “Erm...I can feed myself now, I think…”</p><p>“But I rather like feeding you, Crowley,” Aziraphale replied, voice warm and soothing. “And then I know you’re getting an adequate portion.”</p><p>“Ah, um...ngk,” Crowley replied eloquently, blushing. Aziraphale smiled sunnily until Crowley parted his lips, and… “Is that honey?” He asked, tongue capturing a drop that had landed on his upper lip. Yes, yes it was, and oh, it had been so long since he’d had honey in such a pure form like this. Truly, it was such a rare treat these days, what with everything being processed and refined a thousand times over.</p><p>“Yes, it is. It’s from that farmer’s market we went to last spring. I believe it’s got just a hint of cherry in it.”</p><p>“Oh, angel, actually…” Crowley wet his lips, thinking. “Peaches and honey?”</p><p>The apples on the plate before them kindly swapped out for peaches and a bowl of whipped cream alongside the honey. “Well,” Aziraphale huffed, but it was mostly an act, “I would’ve rather had you finish the apples...but this will do.” He swiped a perfect slice of peach through first the honey and then the cream. Crowley watched, mesmerized, stomach growling in just as much awe as his eyes, it seemed. “Open wide, dear.”</p><p>Crowley might have moaned. His eyes definitely fluttered closed as the combination of flavors hit his tongue. The peach’s texture was buttery soft, more tart than sweet, but tampered well by the honey soaked into the skin, and oh, the added cream really did wonders. Crowley sighed happily, his senses full of a wild sensation of flavors and textures and tastes. “Angel...if anything’s ambrosia, it’s that.”</p><p>“I believe ambrosia is traditionally made with oranges and marshmallows,” Aziraphale replied, feeding him another well-dipped peach. “There, now, you’ve nearly eaten a decent serving of fruit. Are you feeling any better?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Crowley smiled, relaxing against Aziraphale’s shoulder, his tongue still tingling with delight. “Don’t think I’ve indulged myself like this since Rome.” He lazily opened his mouth when Aziraphale fed him another peach, and then he had a thought. “Oh. You know what I really want?” He tilted his head back, hand cautiously resting on his stomach. “Pork. I remember it’s all I wanted to eat when you and I were following Moses’ lot across the desert, if only to tempt the starving Hebrews.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t have been so cruel,” Aziraphale said fondly, thinking if he had any pork in the fridge. “You’re saying that because you’re hungry.”</p><p>“Nah. Could barely do it to Jesus under duress from Hell, to be frank.” Crowley frowned. “He was the one starving--well, fasting, I suppose--yet he told me to eat!”</p><p>“That was Jesus for you,” Aziraphale went on fondly. Between one blink and the next, a plate of pulled pork warmed his lap. This wasn’t going to be easy to do by hand, so he had a fork nearby. “Will this do?”</p><p>Crowley inhaled and exhaled, sighing deeply. “Yesss…” The sharp bite of vinegar and the warm, meaty scent of pork was an incredible combination. “Tell me about your piping. I like when you talk.” He blushed, realizing what he’d just revealed.</p><p>“Does it help?” Aziraphale asked kindly, shifting so he could feed Crowley more easily.</p><p>“Y-yeah…” Crowley rubbed awkwardly at his neck. Aziraphale was delighted to find that the tremors had significantly reduced in frequency and severity. “I like hearin’ you talk anyway, but it, um...helps take me out of it. Forget to measure how much I’m eating.”</p><p>Aziraphale raised an eyebrow. “Is that something you normally do?”</p><p>Crowley nodded. “I know it sounds silly, but...a decent meal really relaxes me, and for centuries, I...I couldn’t be relaxed.” He looked at his hands, nervously folded before him. Aziraphale immediately empathised; Crowley had always pretended bravado, but, deep down, he had been just as nervous and on edge as Aziraphale all these years. </p><p>Aziraphale, who had dealt with his fair share of humans and all their various insecurities over the years, gently rested a hand across Crowley’s. “You deserve it, you know,” he said earnestly. “The relaxation, the food, the way that it tastes, the warm, sleepy feeling that a good meal brings with it.” He tilted his head forward, gently, chastely, pressing his lips to Crowley’s. “My dear, I am giving you permission to let your guard down. I have been remiss in caring for you; allow me to remedy that now. If there is danger, let me be the one to worry. I want you to eat. I want you to feel full. I want you to rest and heal whatever wounds might still linger, or, better yet, let me help you to heal them.” He brushed his nose against Crowley’s smiling when amber eyes stared deep into his own. “Please, Crowley. Allow me to feed you until you are full.”</p><p>Crowley let out a dry sob, ducking into the angel’s shoulder, shaking a bit before he calmed. Miraculously, the plate between them did not spill or get on either of their clothes. Nor was it cold when Aziraphale turned his attention to it once more. “Come on, love,” he said gently, holding up the fork to Crowley’s lips, “open wide.”</p><p>~</p><p>Crowley was full.</p><p>In fact, he was probably a bit more than full, but it was just so...comfortable, that he hadn’t wanted to stop. The pork had been warm, satisfying, and had been followed by beef stew, venison steak, and fried mozzarella balls reminiscent of an ancient Roman snack. He’d been surprised at how filling it all was when combined together, really. He wasn’t used to this feeling; it felt strange, but in a good way. Full. Crowley beamed, slouching further into the armrest of the couch. If this was what Gluttony felt like, it was well on its way to becoming his favorite of the Deadly Sins.</p><p>The best part was that Aziraphale wanted to finish it off with a bang. Beaming, the angel brought in from the kitchen two brownie sundaes, each made up of two thick, warm, double chocolate brownies (hence the name of the treat), two huge scoops of Neapolitan ice cream, chocolate ganache, and a cherry on top. As Crowley was handed his, he realized that the serving he was holding was significantly larger than Aziraphale’s, which was funny enough to make him chuckle a bit. He made to dig into it, but was stopped by Aziraphale’s gentle, warm hand. </p><p>“May I?” The angel asked, glowing with pride and purpose.</p><p>Crowley nodded, budging up the seat so Aziraphale could sit before him. This was probably the best part of indulging like this; Aziraphale clearly adored sharing his love of food, and clearly was feeling the same sort of delicious electricity in the air that Crowley had been aware of since feeling full started to change slowly into feeling just a bit like a stuffed goose, if the pink dusting his cheeks had anything to say about it.</p><p>Aziraphale suddenly looked chastened. And Crowley’s grin faded. “I...I suppose I went a bit overboard, didn’t I?” The angel chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I’m sorry, dear fellow, I didn’t mean to get so carried away…”</p><p>“Angel,” Crowley sat forward, clasping his hand gently over Aziraphale’s. “It’s all right. I’m fine. Better than fine.” He shuffled around a bit to make himself more comfortable and stretched, more because he knew Aziraphale was watching than any desire to loosen himself up. “I’m comfortable, angel. I haven’t been comfortable since my long nap in the 1800s.” He yawned behind his palm, thoroughly relaxed. “All the food, it’s made me calm and sleepy, and my stomach is quiet..” He smiled peacefully. “And it’s barely stretched. I’m a 30 foot viper, at my core. If I wanted to, I could eat a cow whole!” And wasn’t that a thought. His appetite stirred with interest. “Mmph. Wrong thing to say.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed, and it tinkled like bells. “I’m sure this sundae will fill you up again and quiet your appetite until tomorrow.”</p><p>“Tomorrow, eh?” Crowley peeped one golden eye at Aziraphale, still smiling lazily. “This a daily thing now, is it?”</p><p>“Only if you want it to be,” Aziraphale replied. “We do have all of quarantine left, you know…”</p><p>“Right,” Crowley grinned. “All right, angel, I like the sound of that. But we’re getting burgers.” He wet his lips, stomach gurgling despite itself. “I haven’t had a good burger since Warlock was six.”</p><p>“Hm, I think that can be arranged,” Aziraphale held up the first spoonful. “I know a few places that deliver.”</p><p>Crowley laughed, taking the bite. It was rich and explosive and warm, and it sat heavily in his stomach, as promised. “Of course you do, angel. Now, tell me why you like those bloody regency romances again?” </p><p>Aziraphale rolled his eyes, convincing the brownie sundae to be filling enough to put Crowley to sleep for an hour. He couldn’t have his demon complaining about his literature choices, after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I needed to write a comfort fic for myself because I had what I'm referring to as a "hypoglycemic attack." I don't have diabetes or anything, nor am I at risk for it, but I suddenly just started shaking uncontrollably and my legs felt like rubber and, yes, I thought I was going to have a heart attack because my heart was beating so fast. I figured that I probably had low blood sugar from being sick and not eating a lot for a few days, and after eating some food, I felt better. So I decided to project onto Crowley and let Aziraphale care for him. Because I've been reading so much Ineffable Husbands angst recently, and I needed things to be FLUFFY!</p><p>Wonder if Crowley will gain that Quarantine 15? ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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